BANISH NEGATIVITY

Hey everyone!
I wanted to touch upon something this week that I’ve tried to implement throughout the latter few years of my life – and that’s banishing negativity.

Some people, unfortunately just ooze negativity. I’m sure we’re all capable of the odd negative thought or comment but I’ve noticed some people just give off that negative vibe. Having friends, partners and family members who constantly pull you down is not what you need. Everyone needs compliments, advice – and constructive criticism at a push. I think as you get older you learn who your friends are and it’s no longer about that mighty friendship group. It’s more about the select few amazing individuals you can rely on for support, advice and who you can be your weird little self with. In the past I’ve had best friends / partners that have put me down, although maybe not always intentionally or maliciously. I always try and see the best in people and put it down to the way an individual has been raised or what kind of people they may surround themselves with. It’s horrid being made to feel inferior, being put down constantly and emotionally blackmailed. There’s banter and then there’s down right rude individuals. I don’t want this to turn into a negative rant (ha how ironic!) so I want to jump right in to tips on how you can distance yourself from these kinds of people and how to surround yourself with positive and happy people who want you to be successful and help achieve your dreams.

1.Get rid of negative people.

If someone is doing any of the above I mentioned; may that be: showing signs of jealousy, telling you you won’t be able to achieve your dreams, making you feel guilty for seeing other friends / family members instead of them or putting you down ect simply get rid of them. Just because you’ve known someone for years and met them in school doesn’t give them the right to have such a negative influence in your life. Trust me I’ve been there and it can be difficult at first to cut people out of your life but in the long run both of you will move on. Some friendships and relationships just don’t work out, people grow apart and that’s OK!

2.Communication is key – This ties in to the first one. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes if your in a routine of being negative, thinking negatively, talking negatively – you might not even notice they’re doing so. Communicate with others, if someone is being too negative tell them. They may not realise what they’re saying effects you the way it does. After you’ve had ‘the chat’ and nothing changes then like I said in number 1 – get rid.

3. Look for others who share the same dreams, aspirations and hobbies as you. That way you know they will be supportive of you because you can be each others support mechanism and help each other grow! Two heads are better than one. I always find when I’m around creative people I can bounce off their positivity. 

4. Compliment others. Compliment and praise your work mates, friends and family. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine and take your nearest and dearest for granted. Leave little positive notes around the house for your boyfriend / girlfriend / mum / dad / sister / brother to find. Just let them know you’re proud of them. It will make their day I swear! I’m also guilty of getting caught up in routine. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for over 18 months and it’s easy to rely on that person for everything but sometimes you take it for granted when you get caught up in everyday life. 

5. Create a dream board! This is where you can get creative. Make or buy a pin board. Write down your short and long term dreams. When you’ve achieved one keep it on the board and make it a different colour or circle it with a colour to show how amazing you are!

6. Have dreams and goals as a couple. This one is for all my fellow couples out there (sorry singletons but you’ve got it easy, you’re independent and can chase all those dreams on your own, now go be sassy until number 7.) Create dreams with your partner, and write these down too! You can make a couples wish list in order to keep the excitement alive and for your relationship to flourish. Routine gets the better of you and it’s good to add spontaneity to your life. 

7. Stay mindful – and I mean in both senses be mindful of your environments and surroundings but also practice mindfulness. Exercising, meditation and getting creative are great ways of keeping your mind stress free.

Remember that you can make friends at any age and don’t stay around someone because it’s the only option – we only have one short life so smile more, be silly and dream big! You’ll get there, promise 🙂 
Lots of love xxxx

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TAKE THE STEPS TO BECOME CONFIDENT – MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK

Hey guys!

I just wanted to have a little catch up with you little lot! This week is Mental Health Awareness week (16-22nd May) so I thought I’d share something to raise some awareness and hopefully give you a little confidence boost along the way.

Recently I have been uploading to YouTube, I’m creating beauty and fashion videos at the moment but I have a few other ideas up my sleeve which will hopefully be super fun! This month I bought the Blogger Beauty Box for the second time and I was SO happy with some of the products I got. The box was packed with beauty goodies and even included a Makeup Geek blush pan! As I did last time I will try out all the products and review each of them in a few weeks so keep your beautiful eyes peeled for that. Anyway, I hear you thinking ‘where is this going?’, ‘And how is this going to boost my confidence?’ Well I hear ya..!

I started creating YouTube videos last month, at the tender age of 23. Now, for those of you who have met me will know I’m pretty shy so for me to do something like this may seem way out of character…But, I’ve wanted to create YouTube content for over 5 years now but I’ve NEVER had the confidence to. I’ve filmed and even part edited videos but never plucked up the courage to press that upload button. Being afraid of being judged in the real world stopped me from following through with what I was passionate about, I was always conscious of what other people might think of me, or what other people might say and that’s so sad…why should we live our lives a certain way because we’re worried about what others think? But I suppose that’s the anxiety speaking, the constant worry of what others have to say about us, the cloudy head, the feeling of wanting to shrivel up into a tiny ball, to run away from our thoughts. Nothing was stopping me from uploading videos to YouTube five years ago other than my mind! And we need to break the thinking cycle, train our minds to fight instead of flight…to help and support one another. 1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental health problem each year – 1 in 4!!! That’s a hell of a lot of people. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to speak out, the chances are someone you know will either be going through a similar thing or know someone going through a similar thing. The stigma surrounding mental health will shrink dramatically if we speak out and as my mum used to say ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

If you’ve missed opportunities because anxiety has had the better of you..Try to put yourself out there, one little step at a time. It’s so easy for me to sit here and tell you that but practise honestly does make perfect and the incredible sense of achievement after for pushing your boundaries will make the next time ten times easier. If you want any tips on how to be more mindful click here

If you want to head over to my channel and subscribe that would mean SO much to me, you can keep up to date when I post weekly vids 😀 CLICK me to sub 🙂

Creating this channel was a MASSIVE step for me, confidence wise…and the only thing I regret is not starting one sooner. I hope this little post has some what inspired you to go and push your boundaries and if any of you ever need to talk, my virtual door is always open…

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7 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY TO SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS WITH DEPRESSION

‘There are people much worse off than you’ – By saying this, you will probably make someone you love feel ten times more guilty and worthless for feeling low, try something like : I can see that your struggling, how can I help you?

‘Cheer up’ – Being told to just ‘cheer up’ can often make a person feel like their anxious and depressive thoughts shouldn’t be expressed, although you may not mean it to hurt it can quite undermining. Try saying : ‘I need a walking pal, will you come with me?’

‘Stop crying’ – If someone is expressing how they feel let them, it’s better out than in and sometimes a good cry can make you feel ten times better. Nobody needs to feel the pressure to stop expressing their emotions.

‘You’ll just have to deal with it’ – People who suffer from depression deal with it, every day, saying something like this undermines them and might them feel worthless. Instead you can tell them their not alone, and that you’re here to help.

‘You’re just being selfish’ – People who suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder are already extremely hard on themselves there’s no need to isolate someone further. Depression isn’t a choice.

‘What do you even have to be depressed about?’ – Depression isn’t always caused by a sad or traumatic event sometimes it just happens, this doesn’t give the right to pass judgement you may not know what’s going through someones mind.

‘You just need to get out of the house!’ – When someone feels low they often don’t want to move anywhere let alone get out the house and potentially bump into people they know. Offering support by asking them if they need company is a better way of showing you care.

It’s difficult dealing with depression but I promise it does get better, take each day as it comes and practising mindfulness and meditation can help cope with these thoughts but if you would like further info or help these websites may be of use : 

(And if not I’m always here to lend an ear 🙂 )

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/

https://miniaturemilk.wordpress.com/2016/04/12/suffer-from-anxiety-you-need-to-see-this/

Just remember, behind every face something may be going on, let’s make someones day by giving them a smile and spreading positivity… #justsmile

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SUFFER FROM ANXIETY? YOU NEED TO SEE THIS

 

People have very different ways of dealing with stress and anxiety levels, for some going for a walk to clear their head may help, others a little bit of meditation may help. For me, as well as meditation I love practising breathing exercises so when I stumbled across this GIF which has been circulating the internet I couldn’t help but get mesmerised / excited ( a little sad, maybe – but wait until you see it!)

The shape starts out as a triangle, into a square, then a pentagon, hexagon, octagon and so on before folding back into itself – making it extremely satisfying to watch!

Breathing extremely slowely can help with clearing the mind from stressful situations and can often soothe the symptoms of a panic attack. Have a go see if you feel calm and more relaxed!

 

 

If you want any more tips on how to stay motivated and be more mindful read my post here – Let me know in the comments how you may cope with anxiety.

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MOTIVATION AND MINDFULNESS

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IDEAS – GOALS – TIPS FOR A HEALTHY MIND

1.Write your ideas down.

2016 is for new adventures, new challenges and new ideas – All of those ideas you’ve thought of? …Yeah those! You’ve been putting off doing anything with them because for whatever reason something always gets in the way, right? 

It’s like saving money…something always crops up, whether that’s a social gathering, birthday or even a date. When trying to save money always leave yourself breathing room otherwise your setting yourself for a fail. Giving yourself room in your budget makes it ten times easier! This applies to progressing ideas – give yourself breathing room, set yourself realistic goals to make your dreams become reality.

Go grab a notebook and jot your ideas down, whenever you think of something note it down and once you have a bit of spare time do some research in how you can make your idea into reality. If you come to a grinding holt with writers block have a chat with someone about your idea – after all two heads are better than one!

 

2.Write your goals down.

I don’t mean unachievable goals either! Ones which are attainable – being happier in yourself, the holiday you’re saving for, even as small as going a week without alcohol or chocolate. Write down exactly what you want to achieve and why, stick it up on your wall so you can read it everyday. You need a reason why you would like to achieve this goal, there’s no point setting yourself a goal which won’t make you happier, I’m talking about real goals to have a positive influence on your life, not egotistical goals about being rich. These egotistical goals will in the short and long term make you unhappy. If you focus on these kinds of goals you work yourself to death being unhappy and your main focus is money. We’re here for a good time not a long time.

Whenever I feel demotivated I listen to Alan Watts this one gets me every time!

 

By setting yourself smaller more achievable goals you’re motivating yourself to keep going. You will feel so much more satisfied with yourself.

3.Be mindful.

Being mindful really makes a difference to your mental state of mind.

Sometimes I feel myself getting stuck in an anxious state of mind, not being able to complete a task which may seem easy to most – this is the worst way to think when you’re feeling anxious (although it’s easier said than done). When you’re feeling anxious it’s bad enough feeling low and worthless without comparing yourself to others. Certain exercises may help you – although I’m no expert – I’ve listed a few below which have helped me in the past.

1. Colouring books – My dad laughs when I’ve mentioned adult colouring books before but art therapy is a proven way of expressing yourself and focusing. It’s extremely therapeutic and can improve lives by helping people improve their mental, emotional, and even physical states. It can raise the quality of life for many people, and it’s worth considering if it can aid you in some way or another.
2. Breathing exercises – Sitting down for 10-15 minutes and breathing can help you be more mindful. Start by breathing in and out slowly. One cycle should last for approximately 6 seconds. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, letting your breath flow effortlessly in and out of your body.Let go of your thoughts for a minute. Let go of things you have to do later today or pending projects that need your attention. Simply let yourself be still for one minute.
3. Relaxation hynotherapy – I often listen to audio tracks which are there to relax your mind and body. This one I find particularly good and I usually listen to this before bed:

4. Meditation – This can help you be more aware of your thoughts. There are plenty of mediation courses around but if you can’t get out to one you can download an app on your phone to guide you through meditation. I have tried ‘headspace’ and ‘calm’.

New challenges, ideas and goals will make you grow as person, new years resolutions are often forgotten about by this time of year so let’s get back on track. 2016 is for you and when is a better time to start your journey other than now!

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